Getting back together

When getting back together with an ex, you need to do everything you can to separate fact from fiction and the past from the present. However, this might be a difficult task to you, but you can! Ask yourself if some of the beliefs you have about this person are based on the behaviour or statements they are making to you now, versus who they were when you initially started dating and things were good.

Be accountable

Take responsibility for your part in the breakup and ask yourself some questions! Do you know what you did wrong? Have you grown since then? Answer these questions honestly for yourself. However, if you are still thinking it was all your ex’s faults you are probably not ready to reconcile!

Take things slow

It’s normal to have irreplaceable memories about your ex partner! Those memories might be the texts, dinners or having fun as couple. It’s all very exciting that you and your ex are hanging again. However, before you go posting couples shots all over social media take some time to process it.

Figure out what you really want

Getting back to your ex partner is a chance to put all of your cards out on the table. Don’t be afraid to be realistic about what you need to be happy in a relationship. Ask yourself what are your expectations in a relationship or the qualities you need from a partner. Remember to keep this question in your mind! Was there something missing before that your partner could actually fulfil this time around? That’s an important question to be able to answer before reconciling.

Allow a new relationship with the old partner

Yes, it is the truth you have already dated before and know one another.  However, time changes… so get to know your former partner again. Have an honest conversation and ask some questions to see what they think or feel about getting back and the future in your relationship. However, it might be impossible to have a truly fresh start with someone you have already dated before. It is very important to recognise this is a renewal of an old relationship.

Talk little about separation period

You can talk about someone you dated while you were separated. However, you don’t have to go into details. For example you can say I dated someone for a few months, that’s good enough unless that someone was her best friend or co-worker or anyone else that might trigger hurt or jealousy.

Be ready to forgive.

Let’s say your ex cheated on you, physically or emotionally. You have to be truly willing to give them another chance. Otherwise you will end up crucifying them for the past every time you get upset. They forget to call you back, you go on a downward spiral thinking about what they could be doing, and then throw their past transgressions in their face when they ask why you are annoyed.

If you find yourself struggling with any relationship issues get in touch with us. Send the word “help” to the following WhatsApp number +27 81 352 0182 and we will call you within 48 hours.

Alternately Contact us now to find out more about Mens Clinic International – Relationship issues.

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