Relationships breakups are often painful. The suffering is more painful when you don’t see it coming. You thought things were going well but apparently out of nowhere your partner breaks it off, leaving you alone with an aching heart. Finding closure after an unexpected breakup can be extremely challenging.
Go through your emotional process
Allow yourself to feel the whole emotions whatever they may be. It is natural to grieve after any loss. Even if you avoid the pain initially, eventually you have to face it to heal. By giving yourself time to grieve, you’ll find it easier to obtain the closure you seek and move on with your life.
Go through a grieving process
After a relationship ends! It’s important to allow the grieving process, not only for the loss of the relationship, but also the loss of any future vision for the two of you. It’s a big deal and you have to admit that your relationship has come to an end.
Forgive and forget
Holding on to any grudges or anger for your former partner will only prevent you from moving on with your own life. Be willing to let go of the past and forgive your ex for anything you feel you were wronged over. Forgive yourself for any mistakes you may have made in the relationship. Hold yourself in a state of compassion and be willing to learn from the past so you can make better choices in the future.
Keep yourself busy with activities
Don’t sit around and let your anger, sadness or frustration to take you down. Keep yourself busy with something productive. Exercise is an excellent way to move energy out of your body and it releases endorphins which will help to improve your mood. You may also consider getting involved in your community or taking up a new hobby.
Retain your self-worth
There’s no denying that being rejected by someone you love hurts! Refuse to let the rejection impact your self-esteem. Know your value as a person and honour your self-worth. Maintain your dignity by not trying to force someone to be in your life who doesn’t want to be. Eventually, the right person will come along.
Let go of old memories
It’s hard to get rid of old love letters, photos and the best moments of your relationship. There is nothing wrong with keeping your memories. However, choose to keep your memories in a way that you are not going to hurt yourself. You can engage in activities that will help you to let go.
Seeking closure can be one of the greatest challenges to move on from a breakup. It’s challenging to go through an ending relationship. However, there may be someone else out there for you, who is better than your former partner. Try to organize a big conversation with an ex to get real answers for why the relationship ended. In many cases, you won’t be able to have that conversation. In reality, the best way to get closure in your relationship is to cut off all contact with your ex partner.
Keep the faith
It is far too easy to become cynical after being dumped. Rather than being bitter, remain open to the possibilities of love. Therapists offer advice for the broken hearted… and remember don’t think of it as get dumped but think of it as more free time to find your ideal love.
Seek emotional support
You don’t have to go through a breakup or any relationship problem alone. Seek support from your friends and family. Allow them to hold a safe container for you to share your feelings. If the container of family and friends is not enough, consider finding a therapist you trust to help you work through and process your feelings in a safe space.
If you find yourself struggling with any relationship issues get in touch with us. Send the word “help” to the following WhatsApp number +27 81 352 0182 and we will call you within 48 hours.
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