Toxic Relationships

In a toxic relationship, you might let go of yourself, love or habits and might end up withdrawn from all your hobbies you once loved and neglect your health However, toxic relationships are characterised by a lack of trust, controlling behaviours and frequent lies. Most often one partner is prioritised instead of coming together as a partnership. Moreover, if you find yourself in an abusive relationship please contact your loved ones for support and see a professional therapist to assist you.

Signs of a toxic relationship

• Lack of support – Your time together has stopped being positive or supportive on your goals.
• Toxic communication – Instead of treating each other with kindness, most of your conversations are filled with sarcasm, criticism or overt hostility. You may even start avoiding talking to each other.
• Jealousy – It is normal to experience jealousy from time to time. However, it may become an issue if you can’t get yourself to think or feel positively about the situation.
• Controlling behaviours – Questioning where you are all the time or becoming overly upset when you don’t immediately answer. These are both signs of controlling behaviour, which can contribute to toxicity in a relationship.
• Resentment – Holding on to grudges and letting them fester chips away at intimacy. Over time frustration or resentment may result in your relationship being toxic.
• Dishonesty – Your partner is constantly making up lies about their whereabouts or who they meet up with to avoid spending time with you.
• Unusual patterns of disrespect – your partner always late, forgetting the events and adopt other behaviours that show disrespect to your time. All these are a red flag!
• Negative financial behaviour – Your partner might make financial decisions, including purchasing big-ticket items or withdrawing large sums of money, without consulting you.
• Ignoring your needs – Your partner is now making their own decisions, even when it goes against your wishes. That’s a pure sign of toxicity.
• Constant stress – A normal amount of tension runs through every relationship, but finding yourself constantly on edge is an indicator that something’s off.

How to turn things around from toxic to a healthy relationship

• Don’t dwell on the past.
• Don’t address past events.
• View your partner with compassion.
• Start therapy.
• Support your partner.
• Practice healthy communication.
• Be accountable.
• Heal individually.
• Hold space for the other’s change.

If you find yourself struggling with any relationship issues get in touch with us. Send the word “help” to the following WhatsApp number +27 81 352 0182 and we will call you within 48 hours.

Alternately Contact us now to find out more about Mens Clinic International – Relationship issues.

To read more about toxic relationship, click here.

Second chance

Let’s say you want to give your ex partner a second chance? You want to renew the relationship you had with them. And this time, you want it to be better, healthier and everlasting. However, by giving your ex partner a second chance it means you still have hopes that whatever happened in the past doesn’t happen again. As hard as it might be you must try to show each other the patience you both need to adapt to the new realities of your relationship. Ask yourself some questions! What if the old patterns and behaviours don’t just stop? Be careful on how you go about fixing a relationship that was clearly broken before!

Advice for second chance relationship success…..

Only do it if it’s possible to do so

Recommit to this relationship again. However, you may have some doubts or fears about it. Moreover, you need to do everything you can to make this relationship work out. Keep in mind that your health comes first, if you find yourself suffering in this relationship again. Then you have closure! Don’t ever try to fix it.

Communication is key

Good communication is important in any relationship. However, good communication is more vital in second chance relationships. Remember, something went wrong the first time round! The best way to work through whatever this was is to talk to your partner. Moreover, you need to communicate regularly and be honest about how you both feel.

Considering second chance

It is not easy to give your ex partner a second chance if she has in the past put her friends and hobbies before your quality time. However, one of the conditions you may consider when giving your ex partner a second chance might be a number of dedicated things you used to do together. Moreover, you used to do evenings, date nights or weekends where you spend time just the two you.

Address all irresolvable issues

Whatever it is, you need to work out your issues and find a way to deal with them. However, you might have been experiencing relationships issues, such as a lack of trust between you as couple. Moreover, this occurs because of lies or betrayal of some kind or the loss of the physical element of your relationship.

Set healthy boundaries

Whatever boundaries you feel you need to set for your relationship to succeed the second time around, do so and make it clear what those boundaries are so that there isn’t any confusion. However, you might not want to allow other people to discuss your relationship or you don’t want your private affairs shared with their friends or family.

Consider the help of neutral third party (Relationship counsellor)

Remember, a relationship counsellor is a professional trained to listen with empathy and expertise regarding your relationship and individualised challenges. However, counsellors may help you deal with any negative thoughts and feelings or provide objective guidance towards your personal and relationship growth.

If you find yourself struggling with any relationship issues get in touch with us. Send the word “help” to the following WhatsApp number +27 81 352 0182 and we will call you within 48 hours.

Alternately Contact us now to find out more about Mens Clinic International – Relationship issues. To read more about relationships second chance, click here.

Relationships conflict

Most relationships have some conflicts! It is common to have conflict in your relationship and that means you disagree about something. However, it doesn’t mean you don’t like each other. Moreover, partners who have a constant conflicts and disagreements may result in becoming angry towards each other.

Cool down before talking

The conversation will be more productive if you have it when your emotions have cooled off a little, so you don’t say something you may regret later. Talk to your partner about how you feel and what you want without putting blame on them. Be clear and specific!  Be open about what you don’t like without criticism and judgment.  Attack the problem, not the person.

Take responsibility for mistakes

Apologise if you have done something wrong; it goes a long way toward setting things right again. Recognise some problems are not easily solved.  Not all differences or difficulties can be resolved. You are different people coming from different background! However, your values, beliefs, habits and personality may not always be in alignment. Moreover, communication goes a long way toward helping you understand each other and address concerns.

Maintain calm

Maintain calm and respectful manner during heated conversations. Don’t cross the lines by insulting your partner. However, if your partner consistently gets very heated, aggressive or starts cursing! Those are signs that your relationship may be abusive. Moreover, no matter what caused an argument, no one should yell at you, curse, make you feel uncomfortable or scares when you are arguing. You should never feel like you are being attacked in your relationship.

Get to the root of the problem

Sometimes when you argue with your partner it is because someone’s needs are not being met. However, consider things from your partner’s point of view and put yourself in their shoes, then ask yourself how you would feel if the roles were overturned. Moreover, learn to understand your partner instead of just trying to push your point across.

Find some middle-ground

 To find balance between what your partner want or comfortable with is very important. However, if a couple cares about making their relationship to work out, they will come to an agreement on things without feeling like they are making huge sacrifices for a relationship. Moreover, to compromise in any relationship is a good way to resolve conflicts and to find a middle-ground.

If you find yourself struggling with any relationship issues get in touch with us. Send the word “help” to the following WhatsApp number +27 81 352 0182 and we will call you within 48 hours.

Alternately Contact us now to find out more about Mens Clinic International – Relationship issues.

To read more about relationships conflict, click here.

Getting back together

When getting back together with an ex, you need to do everything you can to separate fact from fiction and the past from the present. However, this might be a difficult task to you, but you can! Ask yourself if some of the beliefs you have about this person are based on the behaviour or statements they are making to you now, versus who they were when you initially started dating and things were good.

Be accountable

Take responsibility for your part in the breakup and ask yourself some questions! Do you know what you did wrong? Have you grown since then? Answer these questions honestly for yourself. However, if you are still thinking it was all your ex’s faults you are probably not ready to reconcile!

Take things slow

It’s normal to have irreplaceable memories about your ex partner! Those memories might be the texts, dinners or having fun as couple. It’s all very exciting that you and your ex are hanging again. However, before you go posting couples shots all over social media take some time to process it.

Figure out what you really want

Getting back to your ex partner is a chance to put all of your cards out on the table. Don’t be afraid to be realistic about what you need to be happy in a relationship. Ask yourself what are your expectations in a relationship or the qualities you need from a partner. Remember to keep this question in your mind! Was there something missing before that your partner could actually fulfil this time around? That’s an important question to be able to answer before reconciling.

Allow a new relationship with the old partner

Yes, it is the truth you have already dated before and know one another.  However, time changes… so get to know your former partner again. Have an honest conversation and ask some questions to see what they think or feel about getting back and the future in your relationship. However, it might be impossible to have a truly fresh start with someone you have already dated before. It is very important to recognise this is a renewal of an old relationship.

Talk little about separation period

You can talk about someone you dated while you were separated. However, you don’t have to go into details. For example you can say I dated someone for a few months, that’s good enough unless that someone was her best friend or co-worker or anyone else that might trigger hurt or jealousy.

Be ready to forgive.

Let’s say your ex cheated on you, physically or emotionally. You have to be truly willing to give them another chance. Otherwise you will end up crucifying them for the past every time you get upset. They forget to call you back, you go on a downward spiral thinking about what they could be doing, and then throw their past transgressions in their face when they ask why you are annoyed.

If you find yourself struggling with any relationship issues get in touch with us. Send the word “help” to the following WhatsApp number +27 81 352 0182 and we will call you within 48 hours.

Alternately Contact us now to find out more about Mens Clinic International – Relationship issues.

To read more about getting back to ex partner, click here.

A cheating partner

The sign of a cheating a partner may include improving their appearance, guarding their phone, changing their schedule and fading away emotionally. However, cheaters tend to use their phones and computers more frequently than before and to guard them as if their lives depend on it. If your partner’s phone and laptop never required a password before and now they do, that’s not a good sign. Moreover, your partner suddenly starts deleting texts and clearing their browser history on a daily basis, that’s not a good sign! However, sometimes a partner can display several signs of cheating and still be faithful.

A cheating partner’s schedule changes with no good explanation.

Most couples have expected schedules even if their schedule changes, there’s usually a reason that makes sense. However, one partner is working late all of a sudden at times that go beyond a reasonable explanation that may be related to cheating. Moreover, happens especially if your partner has no new job, promotion or project they are working on.

A cheating partner’s friends don’t seem as friendly as they used to be

Cheaters tend to be less careful about covering their tracks in front of friends versus you. Most people tend to disclose their relationship affairs to their friends. As a result, there is a good chance your partner’s friends may know what’s really going on before you do. Those friends may end up feeling uneasy and anxious around you because they know something you don’t know about your partner.

A cheating partner’s habits change

This can include a range of things, like changing their password or keeping their phone on them all the time when they used to leave it sitting out. These changes are indicative of the deception that cheating always involves and therefore are strong signs of cheating.

A cheating partner suddenly paying more attention to their appearance

The reasons and timing must make sense. However, if your partner is suddenly wearing perfume or spending a lot of money on new clothes and it was never their thing in the past. It’s not unreasonable to find out why! Therefore their answer doesn’t make sense. This should be a red flag!

A cheating partner spends less time than usual around you

It’s okay to ask your partner what’s going on when they are suddenly not around as much as usual. However, cheaters have to make time for their other partners and that time usually comes from time you once spent together. Also, if the affair has gone on for a while, there may be demands placed upon them by their other partner to spend more time together.

What they say and what actually happens does not add up.

This is often how cheaters get caught. Maybe your partner says they needed to do something that doesn’t add up or someone they say they were with slips that they weren’t. The truth is easy but lies are hard to keep straight. Objective evidence supports truth but often conflicts relate to lies.

A cheating partner may accuse you of cheating

This is a weird but common habit of cheaters and there are a few reasons for it. By making your alleged behaviour the issue, it puts you on the defensive and takes the focus off of them. It can also make you less likely to speak up about things that seem off because you don’t want to upset them, given that they are already “worried” that you are cheating. And it also gives them a reason to say “they need time away to think,” a.k.a. meet up with their lover.

If you find yourself struggling with any relationship issues get in touch with us. Send the word “help” to the following WhatsApp number +27 81 352 0182 and we will call you within 48 hours.

Alternately Contact us now to find out more about Mens Clinic International – Relationship issues.

To read more about getting back to ex partner, click here.