Getting back together

When getting back together with an ex, you need to do everything you can to separate fact from fiction and the past from the present. However, this might be a difficult task to you, but you can! Ask yourself if some of the beliefs you have about this person are based on the behaviour or statements they are making to you now, versus who they were when you initially started dating and things were good.

Be accountable

Take responsibility for your part in the breakup and ask yourself some questions! Do you know what you did wrong? Have you grown since then? Answer these questions honestly for yourself. However, if you are still thinking it was all your ex’s faults you are probably not ready to reconcile!

Take things slow

It’s normal to have irreplaceable memories about your ex partner! Those memories might be the texts, dinners or having fun as couple. It’s all very exciting that you and your ex are hanging again. However, before you go posting couples shots all over social media take some time to process it.

Figure out what you really want

Getting back to your ex partner is a chance to put all of your cards out on the table. Don’t be afraid to be realistic about what you need to be happy in a relationship. Ask yourself what are your expectations in a relationship or the qualities you need from a partner. Remember to keep this question in your mind! Was there something missing before that your partner could actually fulfil this time around? That’s an important question to be able to answer before reconciling.

Allow a new relationship with the old partner

Yes, it is the truth you have already dated before and know one another.  However, time changes… so get to know your former partner again. Have an honest conversation and ask some questions to see what they think or feel about getting back and the future in your relationship. However, it might be impossible to have a truly fresh start with someone you have already dated before. It is very important to recognise this is a renewal of an old relationship.

Talk little about separation period

You can talk about someone you dated while you were separated. However, you don’t have to go into details. For example you can say I dated someone for a few months, that’s good enough unless that someone was her best friend or co-worker or anyone else that might trigger hurt or jealousy.

Be ready to forgive.

Let’s say your ex cheated on you, physically or emotionally. You have to be truly willing to give them another chance. Otherwise you will end up crucifying them for the past every time you get upset. They forget to call you back, you go on a downward spiral thinking about what they could be doing, and then throw their past transgressions in their face when they ask why you are annoyed.

If you find yourself struggling with any relationship issues get in touch with us. Send the word “help” to the following WhatsApp number +27 81 352 0182 and we will call you within 48 hours.

Alternately Contact us now to find out more about Mens Clinic International – Relationship issues.

To read more about getting back to ex partner, click here.

A cheating partner

The sign of a cheating a partner may include improving their appearance, guarding their phone, changing their schedule and fading away emotionally. However, cheaters tend to use their phones and computers more frequently than before and to guard them as if their lives depend on it. If your partner’s phone and laptop never required a password before and now they do, that’s not a good sign. Moreover, your partner suddenly starts deleting texts and clearing their browser history on a daily basis, that’s not a good sign! However, sometimes a partner can display several signs of cheating and still be faithful.

A cheating partner’s schedule changes with no good explanation.

Most couples have expected schedules even if their schedule changes, there’s usually a reason that makes sense. However, one partner is working late all of a sudden at times that go beyond a reasonable explanation that may be related to cheating. Moreover, happens especially if your partner has no new job, promotion or project they are working on.

A cheating partner’s friends don’t seem as friendly as they used to be

Cheaters tend to be less careful about covering their tracks in front of friends versus you. Most people tend to disclose their relationship affairs to their friends. As a result, there is a good chance your partner’s friends may know what’s really going on before you do. Those friends may end up feeling uneasy and anxious around you because they know something you don’t know about your partner.

A cheating partner’s habits change

This can include a range of things, like changing their password or keeping their phone on them all the time when they used to leave it sitting out. These changes are indicative of the deception that cheating always involves and therefore are strong signs of cheating.

A cheating partner suddenly paying more attention to their appearance

The reasons and timing must make sense. However, if your partner is suddenly wearing perfume or spending a lot of money on new clothes and it was never their thing in the past. It’s not unreasonable to find out why! Therefore their answer doesn’t make sense. This should be a red flag!

A cheating partner spends less time than usual around you

It’s okay to ask your partner what’s going on when they are suddenly not around as much as usual. However, cheaters have to make time for their other partners and that time usually comes from time you once spent together. Also, if the affair has gone on for a while, there may be demands placed upon them by their other partner to spend more time together.

What they say and what actually happens does not add up.

This is often how cheaters get caught. Maybe your partner says they needed to do something that doesn’t add up or someone they say they were with slips that they weren’t. The truth is easy but lies are hard to keep straight. Objective evidence supports truth but often conflicts relate to lies.

A cheating partner may accuse you of cheating

This is a weird but common habit of cheaters and there are a few reasons for it. By making your alleged behaviour the issue, it puts you on the defensive and takes the focus off of them. It can also make you less likely to speak up about things that seem off because you don’t want to upset them, given that they are already “worried” that you are cheating. And it also gives them a reason to say “they need time away to think,” a.k.a. meet up with their lover.

If you find yourself struggling with any relationship issues get in touch with us. Send the word “help” to the following WhatsApp number +27 81 352 0182 and we will call you within 48 hours.

Alternately Contact us now to find out more about Mens Clinic International – Relationship issues.

To read more about getting back to ex partner, click here.

Longer Lasting Love

It is not easy to keep your primary relationship healthy, positive, supportive and together. However, that’s not an excuse! You can manage to have a healthy relationship. Most people expect a lot from their relationships. Moreover, pressure in a relationship may cause difficulties in order to sustain long-term marriages or relationships.

Maturity in a relationship

For a couple to sustain a long-term marriages or relationship they need to be matured to realise that a long-lasting relationship need sacrifices, commitment and hard work. However, being matured as a couple may lead you to truly commit to your relationship for life and understanding for each other. A loving home life is well worth the effort.

Practice forgiveness in your relationship

It is not easy to forgive! However, hatred, anger and blame are normal reactions when your loved one does something hurtful. If a partner in a relationship is without forgiveness, hurts as well as betrayals can tear their relationship apart. Moreover, a partner who doesn’t forgive often may have problems of maintaining positive feelings toward their partner. But partners who move toward forgiveness are better able to maintain their connection because they make a conscious decision not to dwell on the mistakes their partner has made.

Be reasonable in your relationship

Every long-term relationship will have its own differences and disappointments. However, by learning to look beyond a particular bad space. Seeing your partner objectives and love can pull you through. Moreover, by remembering and nourishing memories of happy times you have had together can help you get past irritation. And especially those times when you are wondering if you want to stay in the relationship.

Develop rituals

The way you and your partner say good-bye or hello… Or how you celebrate birthdays or anniversaries year after year can help build a strong connection and lasting love. This connection can keep you emotionally committed during times of conflict. For example, taking time to kiss your partner good-bye every morning when you leave for work no matter how late or distracted you are! Tell your partner regardless of things you are going through in your relationship. They are your priority.

Listen to your partner carefully

Stop jumping in and interrupting your partner when they are trying to tell you something, because that can make them frustrated or discouraged. However, it’s always been advised that it’s important to listen more than you speak when you are having a serious discussion as a couple.

Honesty is a key for any relationship

Secrets or lies may weaken the foundation of your relationship. However, by ignoring the problem in your relationship doesn’t make them go away. It’s important to be respectful to each other in your relationship. And to have open communication regarding your feelings and dreams. However, get help from the professionals if you and your partner keep having the same arguments. If there is no progress in sight, seek help from a therapist or marriage counsellor.

If you find yourself struggling with any relationship issues get in touch with us. Send the word “help” to the following WhatsApp number +27 81 352 0182 and we will call you within 48 hours.

Alternately Contact us now to find out more about Mens Clinic International – Relationship issues.

To read more about long lasting love, click here.

Finances in a relationship

Money is an essential part of any relationship. However, having big financial goals together as a couple can help both of you to be on a right track, when you are working together toward a fulfilling future. You might be in a long term relationship. Moreover, financial issues may cause tension in your committed relationship. When couples don’t agree about spending and saving habits, it may cause some arguments and resentment. It’s important to understand which financial methods you what to choose with you partner in your relationship.

Combination of finances

Both of your incomes are deposited into a joint account. In this case the couple are using one account and they have an agreed budget. However, to make this work! You need to sit down with your partner and count your joint income. Make sure you both agree on a specific budget that covers all your expenses from housing to groceries and bills.

Separate finances

You have separate bank accounts, budgets and bills. In this case one partner has control over their own money. This means you are not financially depended on the other partner. However, if your partner is not great with budgeting, it won’t affect your finances. Moreover, you only have to worry about your bank accounts, retirement accounts and investments.

Go half-half on bills (50/50)

Every expense is divided into two ways. Both of you contribute the same amount of money towards all bills. However, the couple must agree upon shared expenses like housing, utilities, vacation, date nights, etc. Moreover, in this case you can have control over your own money and also have an easy way to share expenses with your partner.

Share bills

Each person takes complete responsibility for certain bills. In this case one partner can be in charge of housing, utilities and electricity while other partner is in charge of groceries, clothing and kids stuff. Bills can be divided in many different ways larger bills can go to the partner who’s making more money. However, grocery bills can go to the partner who does the grocery shopping.

Combined income

In this method, both your pay checks get deposited to a single account. All payments and savings are made from one account. However, in this case each partner has a separate checking account. Moreover, it is important to figure out how much pocket money each partner will get. You also need to figure out what expenses will fall under the relationship fun expenses category.  

If you find yourself struggling with any relationship issues get in touch with us. Send the word “help” to the following WhatsApp number +27 81 352 0182 and we will call you within 48 hours.

Alternately Contact us now to find out more about Mens Clinic International – Relationship issues.

To read more about financial methods for couples, click here.

Work and family life

Balancing your work and family life can be very difficult sometimes. Moreover, when you have children and a spouse. To balance work and family life may be one of the most common sources of stress for the working a couple. More people are finding it hard to sufficiently fulfil their roles for both home and the workplace. It is very challenging for a couple to be able to find a point of balance between their careers and their families. However, family counselling or family therapies are available to help a couple to have a functional family relationship.

Balance your work life and family

It is important to achieve your balance whether you work full time or part time. Balancing your work life and family life may prevent you as couple from failing your marriage or relationship along the way. Make an effort to visit a family therapist. Considering a therapist may help you as a couple to identify and address your work life and family balance.

Seek a professional for help

As a couple you may sometimes think you can balance work and family life challenges on our own. However, over time you might realise that there is no way for you to get things right if you only rely on your own perspective. It is important to visit a family therapist to address specific issues affecting your family and work life balance.

Get some help from friend or family

Let’s say you are a couple working on weekends. Communicate with your kids. Allow extended family members or friends to help you. Make sure these are the people you trust to handle your tasks like bringing your children to sports practices or picking them up from school.

Create boundaries between work and family

It is important for a couple to create boundaries between work and family. This means determining which actions are acceptable and unacceptable. Boundaries hold the line to protect our family from the distractions of work, as well as to protect our work from our family responsibilities.

Set family rules

For example, no one is allowed to use a cell phone at the dinner table. This will help your children to focus on the family and avoid taking work calls during dinner. As a couple you may also decide not to check emails while on vacation. So you can bond as a family!

Benefits of visiting a family counsellor

• Developing healthy boundaries.
• Improving communication.
• Defining someone’s role within the family.
• Improving family dynamics and relationships.
• Providing strength and coping tools for family members.
• Addressing dysfunctional interactions.
• Improving the family’s problem-solving abilities.
• Adapting to a major change.
• Developing a functional and healthy relationship following a divorce
• Family counselling may also help by resolving conflicts between siblings.
• Counselling may also help couples dealing with inconsistent parenting.
• Family counselling may also help people with marital problems.
• It may also help people with mental health issues.

If you find yourself struggling with any relationship issues get in touch with us. Send the word “help” to the following WhatsApp number +27 81 352 0182 and we will call you within 48 hours.

Alternately Contact us now to find out more about Mens Clinic International – Relationship issues.

To read more about work and family life, click here.